I usually have warnings at the beginning of my blog posts. Warnings of plenty of swearing, gory detail and just general brutal honesty. This time I’m not going to warn you, because let’s be honest you should just be used to my potty mouth by now. And if you’re not, then it’s probably a good idea to stop reading now 🙂
So… I’m currently writing this post on my phone. Why, you may ask? Hmm, because my almost 6 month old baby WON’T FUCKING SLEEP unless she is in my arms. She has slept a grand total of 35 minutes today. 35 MINUTES!! Barely enough time to shower, tie my hair up in a ratty mum bun and stuff my face with toast. And coffee. Coffee is life now.
I had a feeling today was going to be average when I was rudely awoken at 5:30AM to the sound of an unidentified dying animal. I attempted to get the little creature back to sleep using a dummy, but to no avail. I pulled her into my bed and tried to nap in between her spitting her dummy out and grabbing at my pillow (little shit). It may currently sound like I despise my child, but I promise I love her to bits. We have just had a really bad day (like many others). I ended up getting her up around 7AM (our “usual” wake up time) to feed, change, feed, play with, then hopefully sleep.
Put her into her cot at 9AM…
At 9:30 after replacing her dummy about 5 times and listening to her squeal and roll around in her cot, she finally fell asleep. FINALLY! I could enjoy a nice hot shower, lukewarm coffee that I had forgotten to finish and make me some breakfast. 10AM rolls around and my smiley little shit has woken up while I’m in the middle of eating a piece of measly toast and trying to get organised to go out. Going anywhere now requires about 3 hours of preparation, if not more. I am not an overly organised person, so since becoming a Mum I have decided to sacrifice the time I would use getting ready/doing my makeup and hair and eating a delicious breakfast of poached eggs on toast, for feeding Sienna, packing her bag and entertaining her because let’s not forget I can’t walk away from her without her crying.
We’ve barely made it through half the morning, and we’re still nowhere near ready to go anywhere. Sienna has decided that I can’t put her down or she will get really upset, and if I dare walk away from her it starts a screaming frenzy. I managed to get us out of the house just after 12, after another feed and tying up my mop of hair into something that resembles a bun. She slept for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES in the pram, then woke up as soon as we got to SPACE group (kinda like a coffee group but better and way cooler mums) 😉
Fast forward to now – 5PM, and I have Sienna cradled in my arms after her bottle, rocked to sleep after an hour of protesting and crying in her cot. One reason I can forgive her so easily is because I know she’s teething, and tooth no.2 only popped through yesterday so I know she’s sore. But also because when they are asleep, they are honestly heavenly. It’s like looking at an angel. You could never imagine them causing you the pain and stress that they do when they’re awake.
I don’t want to drag this out too much, but I just wanted to share a snippet of a day in the life of Sienna and I. She is the most cheeky, loving thing (when she wants to be) but can turn into an absolute little monster at the flick of a switch. She is ridiculously sensitive to unfamiliar people and gets really upset if people pick her up or go right in her face without warning (although aren’t we all like that? I can’t imagine being impressed if a stranger came up to me and just picked me up and cradled me in their arms – actually I’d be fucking shit scared!! Haha). I constantly feel like I need to explain to other people – I’m sorry – she just doesn’t do well in unfamiliar situations, she loves the comfort of her Mum or Dad’s arms. She is sensitive, and she is experiencing all these things that she has never experienced before. I think having such a high needs baby (I hate using this term but how else can I explain it – she’s very attached and finds comfort in the familiar) has made me more compassionate and made me think about how overwhelming it really must be for babies. They are processing brand new information every minute of every day, including when they sleep.
And for now, I’m going to try to keep telling myself that my baby won’t sleep because she’s a little genius and she’s just learning so much that her little brain can’t switch off.
In reality, she’s just like her mama and it can take a long time for her to relax and switch off from life’s happenings. That is something I can understand. I’ve heard all this talk about what my baby “should” be doing at this stage and trust me, I bloody wish she would do what she “should” but maybe she just needs a little extra help and extra cuddles at the moment – she just needs her Mum. Maybe it’s just a stage. This is literally only a tiny snippet into our lives. There is so much more I could go into but honestly I would bore you all to death, or scare you off of having children if you don’t already 😉